Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Letter to my, as yet, un-conceived son.

Dear Son,

I know you would like to be interested in most everything. The world is full of interesting and exciting things just waiting for you to reach out and grasp them. This all seems great and I want you to feel like this is what life will be about but this letter is tough love from someone who has lives a few decades and I have learned that that is not the path to happiness.

No, son, happiness is in assimilation. Find a clique and jump in whole hog. It can be the Jocks or the Nerds or the Geeks or the Artists or what have you. You can be part of the cool or the anti-cool groups. You can dress like the popular kids or like the outcasts. You can listen to trendy music or to ironically trendy music. What you should NOT do is be yourself. You should not be an individual. I have been there and it is not a good time.

If you are going to be a Jock try to be interested in the sports. Try to learn all you can about them and be ready with a statistic at a moment's notice. If you are a Nerd keep your muscle mass low. Try to be as meek as possible and mumble. Geeks require that you not be too attractive. If you have natural beauty try and get a hair cut that is unflattering or gain some weight. As an artist you are going to have to remember that magic is real and the universe is a fluffy place. You can be "spiritual" or naive but do not grasp the concept of facts and hard reality.

I know this sounds severe. For that I am sorry. As a child you might think that being a whole person will fulfill you and taking the best of those worlds will make you well rounded. It will also make you a pariah. Take it from someone who was never a part of any clique and who has suffered for it all his life. My third dimension just confuses people.

Too fit? The Geeks, Nerds and Artists will ostracize you. They pretend they are the rejects from the cool group but they are just another group with whom you need to assimilate. If you cannot they will never accept you. The Jocks or popular kids are the ones who get all the press for this but they all do it. We all seek a form of elitism and the groups we create reflect that.

So my advice to you, my yet un-conceived son, is to pick a group and drink that Kool Aid. Will you lose a part of yourself? Sure. But you will be happier. Happiness is, in my experience, like mindedness.



-Joshua Billingsley

***Edited to correct for the clique error. I was never in the spelling clique***


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  2. PhysicsVeganBrianMay 1, 2012 at 1:15 PM

    I will, for once, refrain from making a sarcastic comment, as this post is sadly close to the truth. However, I must point out that in this context it's spelled "clique."

  3. I beg to differ and reading this made me sad that you feel this way. Perhaps this is just a sarcastic blog post meant to poke fun at stereotypes and such, I wouldn't know since I have not been gifted with the ability to identify the intricasies of sarcastic style humor.