Thursday, August 4, 2011

Holy Hell

The commonly thought of concept of Hell is a place where ‘sinners’ spend eternity being punished for their sins. Any transgression without repentance condemns one to an eternity of suffering. There is no hope for appeal, judicial review or probation, just eternity of ‘suffering.’

My problem with the Hell concept is that Eternity is a long time. A very long time. Since the system has only two possibilities, Heaven for eternity or Hell for eternity, I must assume that Hell is full of really fun people. There are also probably a few people who simply used the Lord’s name in vain. Goddamnit! There you go, I spend eternity in torment. It is like the state giving the death penalty for every crime. Jaywalking? Death. Speeding? Death. Murder? Death. Arson? Death. Forget to report those taxes from the horse race? Death. Remember “Ignorance of the Law is no excuse.” That is even more so with an Omniscient Judge. And don’t forget the thought crimes of Christianity. The coveting. Hell would be full. Full! But this is not really the point of this post.

I assume Hell would be bad. For the first couple thousand years. After that I would have to assume that one would get used to being in excruciating pain all the time. Rats chewing off extremities forever is bad but I could see, after a couple thousand years, getting used to it.

Once you are used to Hell, it becomes like earth except no possible divine punishment. I assume that it would be nothing but sex and poker. Crazy weird sex you have never thought of. Different gambling games and a lot of rough housing. They say that lifers in prison get used to it and simply exist with that as their reality. Just become accustomed. I assume Hell would be worse than prison but eternity is a long time.

So, here’s me asking to go to Hell and be tormented for a couple thousand years so that I can commit whatever crime I could imagine with no fear of punishment. Plus, remember all the people there are basically immortal in Hell, so they will always be as ok as they were before. No lasting damage, no guilt. My only problem is that I never had much of an inkling to harm others. But, after a few thousand years of torment I might develop a mean streak.

In closing here is my scenario: I say “Jesus” as an exclamation. I die and go to Hell. I am tormented for thousands of years and eventually become a real jackass. I become hateful toward the world and God. Then I commit terrible acts out of boredom (idle hands and all).

When that gets boring I spend the next million years lying, gambling and womanizing. Hell would be full of liars, gamblers and prostitutes.

That seems to be God’s plan. Omniscience kicks ass. I am in no place to question God’s plan.

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